


Sometime Around Midnight

by Knw4e



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, BoyxBoy, Break Up, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Party, Post-Break Up, klance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-23 12:16:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9657131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knw4e/pseuds/Knw4e
Summary: Keith and Lance break up.Lance is having a hard time with it.At midnight everyone always feels worse than they actually are.





	1. And It Starts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **_And it starts_  
> **   
>  **_Sometime around midnight_ **   
>  **_Or at least that's when_ **   
>  **_You lose yourself_ **   
>  **_For a minute or two_ **

It happened slowly, yet all too fast for the both of them. Rushed confessions in combat leading to not only the entire team overhearing their declarations of love but Keith and Lance themselves figuring their relationship, _thing,_ out. Lance could eagerly say it was the happiest he had felt in a long time, he could remember Keith jumping out of his Lion, rose dusting his cheeks and his eyebrows furrowed in the most _endearing_ way. Endearing not a word he would put lightly to someone like Keith, however in this particular cherished moment, for him, it was the only way to describe him.

Keith had rushed over to him and before Lance knew it his back was pushed against his lion, Keith's lips on his in pure determination and _need_. Not that Lance would complain about the touch, he might have also gripped Keith's waist, pulling him flush against his own body. And when dark eyes met with his soft blue ones, endearing was definitely the only word running through his head. 

They seemed inseparable after that, everyone found the relationship a little bit strange. Of course, who wouldn't, they were rivals the day before. Lance even pulled up an argument about who could eat breakfast the quickest, Lance may have also lost. Although the team seemed a little skeptical Shiro had graced them straight away with his eagerness at their connection, he patted Keith's shoulder like a proud older brother, Lance could remember teasing Keith as the shorter boy turned red and shot a snidey remark Lance's way. Soon after Shiro's support the rest of the team came around, Hunk laughing at how offended Lance had been over his skepticism, because that meant Keith had won again with Shiro this time. Pidge seemed indifferent, however Lance could tell she had seemed unsure on how and if they would work out, looking back on it now she had a premonition of the worst which Lance wishes he had taken a bit more caution with, instead of ignorance.  

The closer Lance and Keith were, the faster their barriers had broke. Which seemed like a good thing at the time, but perhaps they were not cautious enough. That's all Lance could think, his _forever_ with Keith was not forever at all. Not in the slightest. Lance hated recalling the memory of that night, he liked the less painful memories. He loved the memories of Keith sneaking into his room at night, he liked the memory of Keith under his duvet, tracing the lines on his pale back with a tanned finger. He liked thinking of Keith's lips, thinking of the pink always dusting the red paladins cheeks whenever they would touch. He loved those memories. 

 _A snarled voice._  
_Anger, frustration, tiredness, unhappy._  
_A thrown punch and a slam of the door._

Those particular things tended to keep Lance awake most of the night, a nostalgic creeping insomnia forcing it's way into Lance's nightly routine.  
  
Love, Lance found love terribly easy, fleeting touches and whispered words. Now break ups, man, break ups were something that tore Lance in half.

* * *

 

"Lance, you have to go. The princess told all of us yesterday, you know how important it is."   
  
Coran's words were lost on him, with a frustrated grunt a door slammed. Lance really hated that sound, he angrily grabbed the first thing his hand found and the balled up shirt flew across the room and hit the door with a small _'thump'._ He rubbed his sore eyes, the contact stung. They must have been puffy and swollen a little bit. Crying does that, he guessed. 

"Tonight is a big night for the paladins, Lance. You can't stay in there all day, you need to get ready." Allura's voice floated through his room from behind the door. He bit back a retort, silence was better than saying the wrong thing.  
  
He heard Pidge's voice soon after. "He hasn't left his room to eat for a whole week, Princess." Pidge sounded worried, and for a second Lance did feel a little guilty for worrying her.  
  
"Lance, please" Allura said once again to the door. After 2 minutes of complete silence he heard a disappointed sigh from the other side of the door and footsteps that soon disappeared into the silence he had become so accustomed with. 

Lance had never missed his family more than he did now, he could imagine his mum wrapping a comforting arm around him, his sister making him a warm drink. His family going out of their way to make him feel not as alone as he has been feeling. 

A knock sounded on his door, Lance held his breath. He knew it weren't Keith, that was out of the question however Lance held on to a tiny belief that Keith would waltz into his room, would kiss him hard and tell him it was a mistake. He would tell him he didn't mean any of the words he said, and Lance would agree and tell him he didn't either. They would be back together and nothing would have happened. 

A sharp pain brought Lance back into reality, his chest throbbed so much, he was so _so_ tired. He felt small drops of water fall against his hand, mild confusion crossed over him until he realised the water was coming from him. The tears soon fell hard and fast, he sniffed hard as if that would stop the pain.   
  
The door opened and his eyes darted to the entrance of his room in alarm, tears continuously falling against his bed sheets. He was met with a warmth he hadn't felt in a little while, large brown eyes looked over him in sympathy. 

" _Lance_ " Hunk's voice seemed low and careful, it hitched at the end of saying his name. Lance let out a loud whimper, he hiccuped and gripped his duvet closer to him. Something needed to stop this pain. "Lance it's been weeks" Hunk whispered, making his way over to his friend. Lance simply nodded and hiccuped once more. He was soon enveloped in large arms and he appreciated it, he needed this comfort. He felt a large hand pat his hair softly and that did it. His whimpers soon turned to sobs, his sobs turning into a wail and not even Hunk could stop the tears falling furiously, his cheeks were pink in frustration, his nose running. Lance could easily say this was the ugliest anyone has seen him, he was glad it was Hunk. He felt the arms around him tighten and he gripped onto Hunk's sleeve, letting out loud sobs. He pictured Keith's concerned fact, he pictured Keith kissing underneath his eyes as if it would wipe all the tears away. 

" _I love you, Lance_ " He could hear Keith's soft comforting words, they seemed all too real to him. He'd _never_ hear that again. Pain wrenched it's way through Lance's body and his chest heaved, his breathing erratic.

"Shh, shh" Hunk cooed, his grip loosening on Lance a little bit. "Breathe, man." Hunk exclaimed, Lance knew. He knew he had to calm down, getting himself worked up wouldn't bring Keith back to him. He evened out his breathing as best as he could, taking a long breath in through his nose, and letting a long breath out through his mouth. He repeated this until he felt his chest loosen. 

"That's it" Hunk encouraged, Lance had never appreciated his friend more than he did at that moment. "You're better than this, man. You know that right?"   
  
"I don't know what to do" Lance sobbed out, his voice sounded hoarse to his own ears, he supposed he hadn't actually spoke in a long time. Hunk's eyes softened while his grip on Lance tightened. 

"You'll come tonight, you'll be the old Lance you always were. You'll be the Lance that loves life, you'll have me all night, buddy." Hunk commanded. Lance let out a dark laugh.

"No offense, Hunk. That Lance is long gone." He retorted bitterly. 

"That's not true and you know it. We can't all keep dancing around the edges of you two. Keith's coming tonight, I gotta tell you that man." Lance's heart hammered once again in his chest, he swallowed dryly. His lips felt so chapped, his tongue swelled. Hunk eyed him carefully and carried on. "He's in bad shape too, you know. It's our job, we have to do it and we need you for it. Hang with me all night, Lance. You don't have to talk to anyone just stand with me, I promise i'll be there for you." His voice sounded so genuine to Lance's ears. With a small nod Hunk's smile grew. He patted Lance's back encouragingly. "That's the Lance I know. You can do this." And for a brief moment Lance actually believed he could.

Hunk didn't leave him alone until they had to leave, Hunk forced him into the shower, he waited patiently for Lance to come out and helped him put on his formal wear. They were both dressed in proper Tuxedo's, and despite the sad circumstance Lance felt like he looked good. Hunk encouraged him telling him how good he looked, feeding his ego in the way he used to love. His brown hair had been slicked back with Coran's mustache formula, Hunk had done the same to his own hair, a few strands falling against his forehead which seemed bare to Lance without his trademark yellow headband on. Hunk even let Lance borrow his aftershave, it was a sweet, homely smell and it comforted Lance. 

"Are you ready to go?" Hunk asked carefully, Lance looked into his big eyes and looked away just as quickly. His eyes trailed the ground, his hand turning into a fist at his side. Now or never rang in his head over and over again. 

"Yes." Lance replied simply. Bracing himself he followed Hunk into the bright hallway, the light so much brighter than he what he was used to. 

Everyone was gathered in the large room at the front of the ship, the universe shone in through the large windows, stars scattered the sky giving the ship a soft glow. Lance loved the look of this room, but it left a bitter taste in his mouth. Allura stood in an elegant silver dress, her hair swept up into a bun, braided at the sides. Coran stood next to her, dressed in a black tuxedo quite alike the Lance and Hunk's. He eyed their hair briefly and Hunk seemed sheepish, he probably should have asked to borrow the mustache formula. 

"We just need Pidge and Keith now." Allura sounded tired, and to Lance's eyes she looked it. She made herself up to be beautiful however her eyes had lost that spark. Once again, Lance felt guilty. He wasn't the only one going through hardships and he knew that, it didn't numb the pain though. 

Keith arrived next, of course it had to be. He was dressed head to toe in a white tuxedo, his hair pulled back into a tiny ponytail, his fringe left how it always was. Lance thought he looked handsome. Hunk shifted on the spot and stood in front of Lance slightly, as if trying to block him from seeing Keith. 

His heart hurt, it was natural to. He longed to reach out and grab Keith, he wanted Keith to look at him. _Look at how much i'm trying for you. Tell me I look handsome, please._

Keith faced towards the stars, that's how he felt to Lance, he felt unreachable, quite like the stars. He nodded to Allura, his face sullen. Coran patted him on the shoulder and they waited for Pidge. 

They waited for an eternity for Pidge. 

Lance shifted uncomfortably on the spot, his watering eyes kept darting to the frame of Keith. His hand found the fabric and Hunk's tuxedo and he gripped it tightly. Hunk patted his hand and gave him a reassuring smile. _You can do this, Lance._

He needed to get a grip, he knew he did. He couldn't do this for the rest of his life, he couldn't crave Keith's touch. Not anymore. He was standing on his own two feet, he needed to stand a little bit taller. He knew that. 

Pidge entered the room, wincing at the awkward atmosphere. Nothing was right with this family anymore. It all seemed broken, the atmosphere too tense to sit comfortably in. Pidge was glad for Coran and Hunk, if it weren't for them there would be no homely feel to the ship, they seemingly stopped the tension with their laid back ways. 

Pidge had a white dress on, her hair braided at the sides like Allura's, she looked cute and Allura seemed to think so. Allura's eyes lit up and she clasped her hands together, swooning over Pidge who just seemed embarrassed over it.

"Pidge you look absolutely lovely!" Allura exclaimed. It was the first time Lance had seen Allura smile since... _since._  He hated thinking about that day, that day everything was lost. A pain ripped through his heart once more. 

"Okay Paladins!" Coran started, "Are we ready?" Coran looked at the group of people, it was sad, seeing the once very lively and active group change so dramatically. Even his princess, especially his princess, Allura had not been the same, and as for Lance and Keith. He hated thinking about it. Allura nodded and tapped on the screen in front of her.

"Ready for the wormhole?" She asked the team, they muttered approval and she went ahead. It takes a second and they're there on the outskirts of the destined planet. It was a celebration of sorts, Zarkon had been defeated, the highest emperors and kings in the galaxy are all meeting together, and the paladins were the guests of honour.   
Their ship landed on the deep red colour of the planet, the winds gushed around them, it seemed the air was breathable, according to Pidge. The hatchway opened and Lance felt the wind against his skin, he hadn't felt wind in such a long time. It was a fleeting moment however he felt like it lasted an eternity. The wind pushed against his skin, it was bitter but it was nice. 

"You good to go Lance?" Hunk's voice snapped Lance out of his trance, he looked sheepish at Hunk and nodded. Hunk smiled at him and put a hand on his back, firm and consoling. They stepped out of the castle and trailed behind the rest of them. Once again Lance was greeted with the back of Keith. He hadn't seen enough of the other boy's face. He yearned for those eyes to look into his, just one more time. 

"I'm so proud of you" Hunk whispered to him, his words lost to the wind. Lance just about heard, he gave a small smile and carried on, head held high. _I can do this, I can do this._

And for a split second, Lance believed he could. What is one night of partying? Give him a couple of hours and he'll be drunk enough to pass out and start the day over again, back to normal. He wouldn't even have to see Keith. 

He looked up at the night sky, the wind brushing against his hair. He wondered what time it was, he hadn't kept up with days and times lately. Was it that late already? The sky was so dark. 

"Hunk, the time?" Lance hissed, Hunk seemed surprised at the sudden interaction and his brows furrowed, he also looked up at the sky. 

"I dunno, man? Sometime around midnight I guess?" He seemed unsure but Lance grit his teeth hard. 

Midnight already, huh? His eyes wandered to Keith, he prayed tonight will fly by. He missed the comfort of his small room already. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> So my first Voltron fic, how exciting and it had to be incredibly depressing!  
> It gets nicer I swear, my poor bby Lance.  
> Anyone noticed the lack of Shiro?  
> Also I keep trying to type Hunks name as 'Trunks' or 'Kronk' idek why. It's a hard life.  
> Anyone who knows what song this is has my eternal love. Such angst.  
> Also Hunk is the greatest friend in the universe I love him  
> <3 <3 <3


	2. Forgetting Yourself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**As you stand** _   
>  _**Under the bar lights** _   
>  _**And the band plays some song** _   
>  _**About forgetting yourself for a while** _   
>  _**And the piano's this melancholy sound check** _   
>  _**To his smile** _   
>  _**And that white tux he's wearing** _   
>  _**You haven't seen him** _   
>  _**For a while** _

The party had definitely started, the music was loud and surprisingly they had honoured the paladins by performing in their native language so they could understand. It was a nice gesture and if Lance were in a better mood he'd be having the time of his life.

Hunk gave him a drink, he wasn't sure what exactly it was or if there was any alcohol in it at all. Do aliens even drink alcohol? He wasn't sure, he downed it anyway. Hunk seemed a little alarmed, Lance felt a hand on his shoulder again. 

"Take it slow man, these drinks have a kick to them" Hunk told him, taking a small sip out of the concoction in his hand. Lance let out a hiccup, his face heating up from whatever the hell was running through his system. One drink and he felt fucked, wow. These aliens knew how to drink. 

The lights dimmed, only the shine of the neon lights gave Lance the ability to see around him, Hunk was right by his side, as promised. He knew he wouldn't face it alone, Hunk always pulled through for him and as he slung an arm around Hunk's waist he grabbed another drink and clinked it against Hunk's.

"To moving on" Lance stated, Hunk grimaced and nodded, in turn giving Lance an encouraging smile. 

"To moving on" Hunk repeated, clinking his glass one more time. They both took a sip, Lance a rather large gulp. They stayed like that for a little while, side by side, Lance noted Allura and Coran talking to some rather official looking aliens. He couldn't see Keith anywhere, which was probably for the best right now. His head started to feel hazy, Hunk panicked a little bit and excused himself to get Lance some water.

Lance merely rested against a nearby stool, the music dropped in pace and turned into a slow melody. His face burned, why was it so hot in this room? There were so many bodies around him yet none familiar, with Hunk gone he felt a little vulnerable. Shakily, he drained the rest of his glass and took to staring at the lights. They were too bright. Too bright for Lance's vulnerable eyes. 

How long had he stayed in his room? How long did he not talk to anyone? How long had it been since he held Keith? Black eyes flashed into his vision, a shy smile followed, hair pulled back into a loose ponytail. He imagine Keith, in his baggy t-shirt, tracing over the wrinkles on his palms, carefully pinching his fingertips. He could still smell that soapy, sweet smell that Keith always used to smell of. He could imagine the small dip in Keith's cheek as he'd smile at something stupid Lance would say. 

How did things get so wrong. How did Lance let him slip away with no fight. Lance always fought, yet he couldn't fight for Keith. _Why?_

Instant regret churned in his stomach, he suddenly felt a little ill. As he grabbed another drink, he pushed on. He needed more of this alien alcohol in his system, his palms were sweating and where the hell was Hunk?!

The lights dimmed once more, it was so dark this time and Lance could barely see through the smoke someone had let off. The dance floor was extremely cloudy, when did it get like this, Lance couldn't recall. 

"You got a smoke?" Lance heard a familiar voice, his eyes narrowed and he frantically turned his head to find the owner of the voice, feeling sicker by the second.

He caught sight of that familiar black hair, that white tuxedo, that _smile_. Keith.

Keith was talking animatedly with another humanoid, he was a well-built alien, antenna's poked out of the fluff of his blonde hair and he also wore a well-fitted suit. His eyes were large and shockingly blue. The contrast made them look good together, Lance thought bitterly.  
  
"K-Kei--" The music drowned out Lance's voice, and he suddenly felt extremely vulnerable. He yearned for Keith's touch, Keith's eyes on him. He yearned so badly for the attention.

The other being passed a cigarette to Keith and followed him outside. Lance saw red. His vision blurred as his eyes watered, he bitterly downed the rest of his drink once more and ignored the pounding of his heart. 

The music slowed to a piano melody, it reminded Lance of _him_. It reminded him of his smile the way he'd grab the back of Lance's neck when they kissed. Or the way he would smile before they fell asleep, that pure loving tenderness of his smile. Everything tasted bittersweet back then. If he had to describe a music that would fit Keith, a piano would be the only one. The soft keys making loud sounds when needed. The tender yet the harsh mixed in one. It was Keith all over. 

Keith held him tenderly, Keith threw a punch, Keith shouted, Keith slammed the door. Lance never spoke to Keith again after. 

Calm down Lance, Lance kept thinking. He can't remember that now, his eyes stung as he held back the tears threatening to fall. He was suddenly out of drink and he couldn't remember why. He couldn't remember a lot of the night, he felt like this moment was lasting way too long.

And why did his heart hurt so much? So what if Keith went for a smoke with an alien he just met, it didn't mean _anything_. Keith was hurting _just_ as much Lance knew that. But then, if that were true, why was Lance the only one standing on his own completely wasted.  

He felt a little insecure. Keith looked amazing to put it simply. Lance loved the way the tuxedo looked on him, he had worn it before when they were...when they were something. Keith always blushed whenever Lance would mention it, Lance he...he really loved that tux. The white in contrast to Keith's complexion and dark hair worked really well and Keith had definitely looked phenomenal tonight. 

Compared to him, Lance didn't even scrub up a little. He grew more anxious the longer he stood on his own, the worst thing was, Keith hadn't even looked his way as he passed to go to the entrance. Lance suddenly caught Hunk's eye and grabbed onto his dear friend. 

"You were gone ages" He managed to hiss. Hunk pulled him back and looked at him incredulously. 

"I was only gone 5 minutes, Lance" Hunk stated, Lance seemed confused.

Five minutes? Is that all? It seemed like hours had passed as Lance had stared Keith down. Had it really been that short amount of time? 

"I...sorry" Lance muttered, his eyes on the floor once again. 

"Lance, what's happened?" Hunk asked, Lance shook his head and bit his lip trying to hold back the tears. He couldn't let any emotions out now, his head was pounding and his vision blurred. He didn't even see Pidge appear in front of him until she spoke.

"Lance get a grip." Lance wobbled a little bit on the spot and Hunk steadied him. "Hunk can't babysit you all night." She stated, voice icier than she had meant. "You and Keith are over, we know that, we get that. You can't mope around it. You need to be stronger, for the team Lance." Hunk stared at Pidge and then quickly his eyes darted to Lance. He seemed awkward. 

"You don't get it he's...he's my--" Lance slurred and stopped himself. Pidge had lost a father, a brother, and the only guy who also knew both of those had vanished in thin air. Lance had a break up, that's all. It was minuscule to everyone else's problems. So why did it still hurt so bad. "Keith doesn't care--he doesn't--" Lance cut himself off once more, he hiccuped and his face flushed. Pidge's eyes softened and she stepped a little closer to Lance, Hunk already had an arm covering Lance's back. Who knew Keith had such an effect on Lance. Hunk felt his heart drop as he watched Lance's shoulder's start to shake. 

"I get that you're upset, I get it Lance" Pidge repeated, she placed a hand tentatively on his arm. "But we need the old Lance back, we're all tearing this team apart" Her cheeks glowed red and Lance had a sudden thought that maybe she had too much to drink also.

He nodded at her and did something that surprised even himself, he pulled her into a tight hug. 

"Thank you" He whispered against her ear. She smiled softly and ruffled his hair. 

"You're Lance, you're one in a million" She stated. He let out a small laugh as he sniffed and Hunk agreed, Lance wiped the sleeve of his tux over his eye and he straightened himself up. Pidge smiled proudly. "You're strong" She stated. He knew he could be, but he has to start slow and build up. He looked to and from Pidge and Hunk, he couldn't believe his luck, two people right here next to him who cared. They cared about his well being. He sniffed one last time and thoughts of Keith seemingly disappeared, for the time being. 

"Keith!" Coran shouted from somewhere across the room. Lance's heart fell. He was back and Coran had appeared near them, calling him over. Hunk's grip on Lance tightened protectively and it took everything in Lance not to grab Keith and kiss him in front of everyone. He couldn't, he wasn't allowed to do that anymore. Keith wasn't his to do that with, not anymore. 

"You stink" Coran said simply, Lance guessed it was because of the smoke. Keith smirked and shrugged.

"It helps me let off steam" Lance's eyes widened, his voice. He hadn't heard his voice in so long, his accent, the care in his voice. He could remember it _so_ well. Everything felt like it was rushing over him at once. All these emotions that he had long forgotten how they felt, he could remember _happiness_ for a split second, just by the sound of his voice. He could remember laughing, touching, fondly staring. What happened. They used to be _everything_ to each other, _absolutely everything_. He didn't know how they ended up so distant. 

Lance grimaced and he tightened his hand into a fist one more. Pidge's words ringing loud and clear in his ears. 

_"You are strong."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, slightly rushed I am so sorry  
> I wrote this at work with 10 minutes to spare.  
> I just wanted to get it out, I'll go over it when i'm home and edit some bits I don't like.  
> I need more emotionz in it!  
> Enjoy! <3


	3. Suddenly Spinning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **_But you know_ **  
> **_That he's watching_ **  
> **_He's laughing, he's turning_ **  
> **_He's holding his tonic like a crux_ **  
> **_The room suddenly spinning_ **  
> **_He walks up and asks how you are_ **  
> **_So you can smell his perfume_ **   
> **_You can see him lying naked in your arms_ **

Lance felt dizzy, the alcohol caught up to him in a furious rush, he stared alarmingly at Keith as Coran chattered away aimlessly at him. Hunk passed him a wine glass filled with what Lance could only assume was wine. He took the drink and looked up at Keith through long eyelashes, head bent down to not allow Keith to notice him staring.

Keith was here, _right in front of him_ , close enough to _touch_.

Suddenly, black eyes bore into his. Lance's own blue eyes widened, he felt his face reddening more and more the longer Keith stared at him. He straightened himself out, he needed to act less shameful than this. He took to resting against the nearby stool once more, leaning back against it cooly. Keith carried on talking to Coran, his gaze never once leaving Lance's and for the first time in a while Lance had hope of fixing things with Keith. He had hope that Keith felt the same, horrible way Lance did. 

Keith laughed suddenly at something Pidge had said and Lance felt his fingers twitch around his drink, that laugh was too painful. Keith's eyes shot to Lance's once more and Lance couldn't take it, he felt as if the air around him had been completely sucked dry. It was lucky Lance could remember how to breathe, he felt like everything was blurring into one, it was too much. 

Lance had to get out of here.

"Toilet" Lance near-on shouted at Hunk, his glass still held tight in his hand. Hunk looked at him incredulously. 

"You want me to come with?" Hunk asked, he eyed Keith warily and focused back on Lance. 

"And hold my hand? Please. I'm cool" Lance reassured sarcastically, however in Hunk's eyes his best friend certainly did not look 'cool'. He was disheveled, his face was red as a beet, eyes wide and panicking. His drink was shaking in his hand, for crying out loud. But Hunk needed to respect that Lance needed time to adjust, time on his own and especially, as Hunk's eyes flitted to the other boy in question, time away from Keith.

"Okay, man. Here if you need me" Hunk replied, he was worried for his friend, terribly worried, however this was out of his hands. He couldn't be next to Lance all the time. Lance had to figure this out for himself. 

And Lance himself knew that, he stumbled away from the group. He could feel Keith's eyes on him but he tried to block it out. His body felt numb as he aimlessly wandered looking for a restroom. He needed some cold water on his face, he felt as if he were burning up. 

He tripped over the small step leading into the rest room but that was fine, everything was okay. He gripped the sides of the sink tightly as he leant forward and stared into the mirror. His eyes were red and watery, his cheeks flushed and his hair had started to come loose. He couldn't blame Keith for staring at him, he looked a state and he knew it.

He ran the tap cold, he then cupped his hands underneath the running tap and splashed the remaining water over his face, it felt nice against his burning cheeks. He ran his hand through his hair, hoping the water stuck his hair back down in place. It was worth a shot to look nice rather than as if he got dragged through a bush backwards. 

He felt sluggish, his stomach hurting slightly he wondered if it had something to do with the amount of alcohol he had consumed. He turned around too quickly and the room span, his eyes couldn't keep up with his head and everything around him turned round and round. He exited the bathroom quickly, his feet betraying him as he kept tripping himself up. His long legs seemed to just to be getting tangled as he clumsily walked out into the dance area. 

The lights span and shone around him, causing his vision to blur. Why was the world moving so fast around him? Why couldn't he keep up? He felt sick as if he were on a ride at the fairground back home. 

He caught site of a white tux and black hair. He really didn't feel up to this, he couldn't handle Keith with the state he was in. Keith seemed to be walking towards him, he gripped the edge of a nearby booth and stabled himself, the room span worse when he stood in one spot. His head pounded. 

And then Keith smiled.

He _smiled_.

It burned Lance's eyes, he visibly winced at the sight. 

"H-hey" Keith spoke. _Keith spoke_. He spoke to Lance and Lance felt like he wanted to puke. 

"Hi" Lance muttered, his voice hoarse and eyes squinting, trying to stable himself. Deep breaths Lance, you can do this, you can work this. 

"We haven't spoken in a while" Keith replied. Lance froze and gazed at the ground, he couldn't ruin this moment by saying something stupid. Instead Lance remained silent and Keith shuffled a little bit in front of him, seeming embarrassed. 

"How have you been?" Keith asked, keeping the conversation flowing. Lance couldn't bear it, what did he want, what did he mean by this.

"Um...I don't--I--How have you been?" Lance dodged the question, directing it at Keith this time which surprised the other boy slightly. Keith let out a sigh and backed away from Lance, keeping a safe distance. 

"As good as I can be." Keith retorted. Lance bit his lip to suppress his tears and nodded. Keith looked behind him and then back at Lance, Lance could relish in this moment forever, if Keith had his eyes on him then the world didn't seem too bad. Keith spoke once more. "I best get back to some of the guests, we do have to mingle you know." Lance's face fell, his stomach dropped and he nodded despite himself.

"Of course" Lance muttered, he turned away from Keith and stumbled slightly. He could have sworn Keith moved as if to steady him but Lance felt like that was just his imagination as Keith returned to his original stance in a flash. Lance pushed past Keith, taking care not to touch him as he made his way through the crowd. He couldn't handle any contact with Keith. Not at all.

Lance wanted to get far, far away from Keith. This party was a mistake. He felt a hand grab his arm and he spun around far too quickly.  Keith stood opposite him, his arm stretched right out and his hand gripping Lance's bicep tight. 

"L-Let me go" Lance exclaimed, his heart leaping out of his chest. So much for giving off no emotion, he sounded as if he were to cry. But how could he act any different? Keith's touch sent shivers down his spine.

He could smell Keith from where he was, that familiar smell he knew all too well. His arm felt so warm from Keith's touch and Keith seemed to be dithering, not relaxing his grip on Lance at all. 

"Take care of yourself" Keith said, his voice low. Lance felt hot once more. He blinked at the boy opposite and licked his dry lips. The mix of Keith's aftershave, his touch, the way his eyes were looking deep into Lance's as if he cared somehow, the way his lips were slightly parted as if he wanted to say so much more. Lance couldn't bear it. 

The nostalgia crept upon him and in the deep crevices of his mind he remembered exactly how Keith tasted, how he felt. 

_He could remember, one night, not long after they had got together. Keith messily lay in his bed, the sheets creased around him, Lance hovered over him. Keith's hair splayed over the pillow, black strands melding so perfectly against the white cushion. Keith's hand had trailed up to Lance's bicep, his fingers pressing hard against the muscle. Lance's eyes had wandered from the parting of Keith's pink lips, down to his bare chest, his muscles relaxed under Lance's watch. His eyes traveled further down, the dip in his hips, his pale yet toned legs wrapped underneath the duvet. Lance appreciated pretty things, and Keith seemed to be the epitome of pretty._

_Lance could hardly bear it, he had wrapped his arms around Keith's frame and pulled his bare chest flush against his own, their hearts beat as one and Keith pressed lazy kisses to Lance's neck. Lance maneuvered his neck so that it was visible for Keith to attack. And Keith had enjoyed doing so, relishing in Lance's natural smell. Lance had laughed at Keith's touches and Keith had stared back up at Lance as if he were the greatest thing to ever grace him. Everything felt warm and yellow, he leant down and attached his lips to Keith's again, the kiss soon deepening, Keith opened his mouth for more. Lance obliged._

Lance blinked once more and Keith was gone, his grip on Lance had disappeared and Lance really had no idea how long he had been standing there. It wasn't fair, he wanted Keith again. Every inch of his body yearned for contact with Keith once more. He couldn't shut his emotions off and the whole dance floor was just goddamn spinning over and over. 

His breathing became erratic once more, he could hardly keep up with the fast intake of breath he was taking. His chest felt so tight and it panicked him even more. He couldn't breathe. 

He couldn't breath.

He felt like he was underwater, trying to find air desperately but to no avail. 

Tears streamed down his face as he grasped to find a wall to lean against, he couldn't stop the tears flowing in frustration and desperation, his breathing was jagged and messy. 

 _When_ would this pain stop.   
  
He looked up at the bright lights hanging from the ceiling and clutched a hand tight to the white shirt underneath his blazer. His chest heaved as he took long breaths in and long breaths out.

And the one word on his mind repeated itself until he was sick of hearing it.

_Keith._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's kind of hard to fit each chapter with each verse of this song.   
> There's just so much I want to write and not enough verses.   
> Maybe I should have picked another song but this just fits so perfectly :-(  
> Hope you guys enjoy, next chapter should be up later today. It'll get worse before it gets better.   
> Also this story has -sort of- come out of experience! I know not everyone handles break ups this way, but some people do and I really feel for them.  
> Thanks for the kudos&bookmarks <3


	4. Lost in the Haze

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**And so there's a change** _   
>  _**In your emotions** _   
>  _**And all of these memories come rushing** _   
>  _**Like feral waves to your mind** _   
>  _**Of the curl of your bodies** _   
>  _**Like two perfect circles entwined** _   
>  _**And you feel hopeless, and homeless** _   
>  _**And lost in the haze** _   
>  _**Of the wine** _

_"Zarkon's ships are everywhere I need some back up. Keith how are you doing?" Shiro's voice rang through their communicators. Lance swerved out of the way of an upcoming laser. He stabled his Lion and looked around trying to spot the others._

_The red lion flew past him, Keith on his way to give Shiro a hand. Lance spotted an enemy ship targeting him._

_"Keith watch out!" Lance exclaimed, he sped up, darting himself in front of Keith's Lion and shot at the enemy, Keith was still behind him. Lance couldn't believe the strength the Lion's held, the enemy ship was putty in Lance's hands and it made him feel invincible. He backed up Keith and he felt a bit of pride in the fact he was useful to him._

_"Lance are you crazy?" Keith shouted into the com. Lance hesitated for a moment and his eyebrows furrowed. Why was Keith pissed, he just saved his goddamn life._

_"If you were paying more attention you would've seen him from a mile off!" Lance exclaimed, he was fuming. "And you're welcome by the way"_

_"Guys, it's not the time" Hunk said hurriedly._

_"No, I go and help Keith for once and he's biting my head off" Lance replied, he shot at a few more ships but nothing could rid the anger he felt._

_"If you didn't put your life in danger maybe I'd say thanks" Keith hissed back. Lance clicked his tongue, completely narked._

_"Like you even care? Not like the paladins aren't replaceable" Lance replied, he regretted it instantly._

_"Lance enough!" Shiro hissed into the com, clearly pissed off. Lance bit his lip, maybe he went too far._

_"If you ever do that again--if you ever say that again i-man i'm so fucked off" Keith shouted, emotions clear in his voice. Lance felt sheepish once more, but he didn't let it phase him. He shot down another ship and dived down to find another._

_"I didn't ask you to care" Lance muttered, Keith heard though, they all heard._

_"And maybe I can't help caring Lance!" Keith exclaimed, Lance could just imagine how red Keith's face would be if he was as angry as he sounded._

_"Oh and why's that? Suddenly grown a heart?" Lance laughed darkly. Pidge, Hunk and Shiro seemed extremely quiet which surprised Lance._

_"You're so infuriating" Keith hissed, he sounded so pissed and Lance relished in it. "I fucking care about you and you're shrugging your life off like it's nothing. If you died Lance, what the fuck would I do?" Lance could feel his face growing red._

_"Well why the fuck did you think I saved your ass in the first place?" Lance hissed back sharply. Keith stayed silent. "If you died I couldn't take it. I panicked and wanted to save you. I wanted to, Keith." Lance could hear breathing down the comm, he wasn't sure if it were his, Keith's or the rest of the team._

_"If you died, Lance. If you died, i'd die too." Keith stated simply. Lance let go of his controls in shock.  
_

_"W-what the hell Keith" Lance spat._

_"Do I have to spell it out?" Keith retorted, Lance heard Shiro attempt to calm him down. "No, Shiro. Lance. I fucking care about you a lot. I--fuck--you're so much more to me. I'm in love with you. I love you so please don't do something so stupid again." Keith finished irately. Lance couldn't move. His lion floated in the middle of a battlefield as he adjusted to what Keith had just said._

_But Keith couldn't have said it any more clearer, in Lance's eyes. If it were Keith who had jumped in front of Lance, he'd be the same. He'd be fuming. If Keith died, would he also wish to?_

_"Me too" Lance whispered before he could think about it. The whole team went silent on the comm._

_Lance focused on flying and shooting. He guessed the rest of them did too as it was eerily silent over the communicators. He wanted to get out of this, he wanted to see Keith in person. He wanted to sort this out. His cheeks were flushed from the confession, not only because the entire team heard it but also because it was Keith._

_They landed back on the ship with ease. The fight with half of Zarkon's fleet seemingly over. Lance parked his Lion on the ground, he stood up and stretched, his face still felt flushed from his and Keith's argument._

_The first thing he saw when he exited his lion was Keith's angry expression, Lance held his own and his eyes never left Keith's. Keith's cheeks were dusted with pink as if he was embarrassed. Keith stormed his way up to Lance and before Lance could make a stupid remark Keith's mouth was on his own. Lance's back hit against his lion and Keith had essentially pinned him there._

_His lips moved fervently and demanding against Lance's, Lance's eyes grew wider and before he had time to adjust to the kiss, Keith's lips were gone. Lance found himself oddly missing the contact._

_"You ever do that again, I'll be even more pissed." Keith stated bluntly. Lance opened his mouth to speak however no words came out. He seemed to have caught onto his emotions and before he knew it he grabbed the back of Keith's neck and pulled him flush against him once more. Their lips moving excitedly against one another's. Lance relished in the feel of a warm body and soft lips against his. His back pressed harder against his lion and Keith's hands gripped his waist._

_Their lips melded together, Lance's slow and tender, Keith's hard and urgent. They broke apart after a cough occurred somewhere behind them. They turned to see Shiro, Pidge and Hunk standing awkwardly away from them._

_Shiro grinned sheepishly. "Well I'm glad you sorted it out" He stated with a laugh, Pidge rolled her eyes and Hunk blushed awkwardly._

_Keith also blushed but Lance grinned lazily._

_"Well the mission was a success, and I found the love of my life" Lance stated boldly and cheesily. He wrapped an arm around Keith's waist and although Keith leaned into the touch his face was redder than Lance had ever seen it._

Lance sank to the floor, the music too loud it hurt his ears. His breathing had slowed down but the tears wouldn't stop. He couldn't handle his emotions, they plummeted drastically and all he could feel was the tingle on his right arm from where Keith had touched, He was so used to those touches however this one felt foreign on his arm. 

_"I love you Lance" Keith whispered under his breath. Lance grinned and pulled him closer towards his chest._

_"I love you too" Lance replied, his grin stretching across his face lovingly. "I always will" He added on the end, Keith blushed again. Lance couldn't get enough of that blush. They laid together on Lance's bed for what felt like an eternity. An eternity that Lance never wanted to end._

_His foot brushed against Keith's leg and Keith shivered happily at the touch. Keith's fingers rubbed circles against Lance's skin. Their noses were touching and they stared into each others eyes. Their arms were wrapped tightly around one another, their bodies pressed close as if they fit perfectly. Lance couldn't comprehend being this comfortable or this happy._

_They shared another lingering kiss and then Keith smiled, Lance's whole world shined._

Lance let out another whimper at the lost moment, his brain aching from the memories and his heart hurting even more. 

Keith was everything to him, everything. It was all hopeless. His drink still clutched in his hand was poured clumsily down his throat and the sharp taste left Lance feeling more lonely and even more broken. He couldn't even see through the large crowd of people. He couldn't find the figure of Keith anywhere. He placed his head in his hands and curled around himself, his chest rising and falling quickly as his tears fell furiously down his cheeks. He hiccuped and pushed his head tighter against his arms. 

Bright lights burned his eyes once again as he was hauled up to his feet, his knees were giving way and he felt like he was falling however a sturdy arm broke that fall. He looked up, once again, to find familiar brown eyes. 

"Lance" Hunk exclaimed dejectedly. Lance gave out a whine and was enveloped in the arms of his best friend. 

"I'm here, buddy. I'm here" Hunk cooed. Lance's head felt hazy and he rested it against Hunk's shoulders. He was a mess and no matter how much alcohol he drank, it wasn't enough to shut his body down completely and wipe the memories far away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashbacks galore.   
> Some sweet moments between Lance and Keith _before_ shit went down.   
>  My heart hurts so much i'm sorry. :-(  
> Another two chapters tomorrow!


	5. Blood Boiling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**And he leaves** _   
>  _**With someone you don't know** _   
>  _**But he makes sure you saw him** _   
>  _**He looks right at you and bolts** _   
>  _**As he walks out the door** _   
>  _**Your blood boiling** _   
>  _**Your stomach in ropes** _   
>  _**And your friends say what is it** _   
>  _**You look like you've seen a ghost** _

Hunk made his way through the crowd, Lance leaning against him as they pushed through. The music blared and Lance couldn't make out any words, the bass line pulsed through his body and seemed to grow louder and louder.

They found their way back to the group, Lance couldn't spot Keith, he didn't know whether to feel relieved or upset. Hunk's facial expressions certainly told him that he was relieved at the red paladins absence.

"There you are" Allura breathed out, she seemed restless as she gazed at Lance's face. "How much has he had to drink?" Allura asked, eyeing Hunk with slight judgement. Hunk hoisted Lank up again as he slipped down, his legs still feeling weak.

"I'm not sure, he's not drinking any more though." Hunk stated, Allura's face calmed a little bit and she looked back to Lance.

"Do you feel okay?" She asked, Lance managed a weak smile.

"Perfectly fine" Lance retorted, he knew none of them would buy that, not with how disheveled he currently looked.

"You've shown your presence Lance" Allura started, she hesitated and then carried on, "You can go back to the ship to rest, if you wish."  
Lance blinked at her, unable to give a dignified response to the relief he felt. He couldn't wait for this night to finally be over.

"Did you want me to take you back?" Hunk asked, Lance bit his lip and nodded. He felt ashamed, he had essentially completely ruined Hunk's night, he had been babysat by his best friend all night just because he couldn't keep his emotions in check. And it annoyed him.

"You don't have to stay with me when we get back, I just can't see straight right now" Lance stated, because he couldn't. He couldn't physically drag himself out of the building and into the ship. And who knows if he'd even go back to the ship at all if he were on his own.

"I'll come with" Pidge piped. Both Hunk and Lance looked at her, she moved to Lance's right side and pulled his arm over her shoulders to take some of the weight off of Hunk. "I'm not really in the mood for a party anyway and it's already 2AM" She finished.

Allura nodded and after a quick look at Coran she turned her attention back to the other three.

"Shall we all go then? We'll need to find Keith first" She ignored Lance's wince at the red paladins name. "He was around here somewhere, he couldn't have gone far" Coran nodded in agreement.

"Let's make our way outside, Princess, he might be there" Coran gestured to the large entrance. Lance felt his stomach drop and his muscles relaxed completely and Pidge and Hunk held him more upright.

"Let's go, quickly. He's heavy" Pidge complained.

The group made their way through the crowd, the room still spun for Lance, he couldn't see straight and couldn't move his legs in the right way.

"Thank you" He sobbed to Pidge and Hunk, they looked at each other then back to Lance.

"No problem" Hunk stated, he seemed tired.

"We care about you, Lance" Pidge finished, Lance could've sworn he saw water in her eyes. He felt tears roll down his cheeks once again, tears full of lost love, anger, regret and guilt. His friends didn't have to go this far, yet they did for him. They cared.

"Hey, wait up!" Lance heard a voice from somewhere behind him, he twisted his neck round and stretched it slightly to be able to see past Hunk's shoulder. It was Keith, Keith seemed to be in a rush and his voice sounded impatient. The other two seemed unaware of Keith's voice as they continued to follow Allura's lead. Lance's eyed Keith, he wondered where he was going in such a hurry and that was when he saw, he suddenly felt incredibly ill. Keith wasn't alone, he was chasing another person, who was moving just as fast and impatiently as Keith, it was the alien from before. A painful surge ran through Lance's veins, his face felt hot again and his stomach in knots. That's when Keith's eyes landed on Lance's. His eyes held a sense of urgency, it reminded Lance of back when they were together. They held their gaze for the entire time Keith ran towards the back exit, it felt like an eternity for Lance however he could have guessed in reality it was only mere seconds. He couldn't tell by Keith's gaze what the other one was feeling, what his plans were, did he even care for Lance.

And just like that Keith had left, following the unknown alien out of the building. Lance could barely hear the sound of the music anymore, the deafening sound of Keith's voice had blocked everything out. 

He couldn't think straight, his mind went blank, anger ruining through his very veins. He pushed away from Pidge and Hunk, escaping their grip. He didn't know what to do, his mind raced and raced at the vision of Keith with someone else. His heart was racing and that's when he ran in an opposite direction to the group, stumbling and tripping over everything in sight. His chest heaved, his breathing erratic. He set off after Keith in a similar fashion.

He could barely hear Allura's angry calls after him as he clumsily set off after Keith. 

He had to try and focus on running, he had to catch up to Keith, he had to try and sober up a little bit. It would help a lot more if his head didn't feel like it was going to explode and if his heart could calm the fuck down and stop hammering in his chest. 

How could Keith do this to him? It was as if the memories they shared had meant nothing to the other boy, how could he leave with an absolute stranger whilst Lance was watching? 

He felt the cold air of the planet hit him hard in the face, it was still as windy as when they had arrived. He hadn't felt the cool air since they had first arrived and whilst it soothed his burning face slightly, it didn't soothe his aching heart. 

He glanced around him in desperation, the alcohol hit him harder with the fresh air. Keith was gone, he couldn't see him at all. There were small crowds of aliens here and there, smoking weird concoctions that Lance wouldn't even try to name. But Keith, his _precious_ Keith had vanished. 

He felt his knees give in as he fell to the ground with very little grace. His breathing was heavy and erratic, he tried with everything he had but he couldn't seem to get any air once again. 

"Fuck!" He hissed through his teeth as he rammed a clenched fist angrily into the stone beneath him, he seemed to have lost control of his limbs as he continuously punched the ground. He couldn't feel any pain but he could see the red liquid streaking from his knuckles down the back of his hand. He just saw red.  

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" Lance screamed, he was making a scene, he knew that. A vision of Keith and that unknown alien crossed his mind, he punched the ground harder and winced at the impact. "Fuck you!" He shouted, tears streaming down his cheeks, he felt fire in his veins and he needed something to unleash all this _anger_ he felt. 

What the fuck was Keith doing, why the fuck did Lance still care, why did Lance still love him. He left his fist resting against the hard stone, it throbbed but Lance sort of liked the feel. 

"Lance what the fuck!" Lance heard Pidge exclaim in horror. "Allura, found him!" She shouted behind her. The rest of the team caught up and Lance never felt more humiliated, he let out a loud sob and Pidge raised his bruised hand off the floor. She ripped the bottom of her dress off and wrapped it tightly around Lance's bleeding hand. 

"Lance, what happened?!" Allura shrieked, she hovered over Pidge and had worry etched over her face. "What is it? You look like you've seen a ghost!" She spoke a little calmer now. Hunk knelt next to Lance, Lance raised his face to Hunk's and Hunk never felt pain quite like that. Tears glossed his eyes and suddenly Hunk was crying too, Lance couldn't understand why. He was pulled against Hunk's chest. 

"How can I make it better? Lance tell me, _please_ " Hunk sobbed, in turn Lance broke down. His chest vibrated as he cried for a long, long time. The wind gushed around the group and Lance cried. He cried for Keith, he cried for Shiro, he cried for Hunk. 

"Rip my heart out" Lance pleaded, brokenly. Hunk sobbed again and shook his head violently. His grasp on Lance tightened. Pidge bit her lip and looked at the sky, tears glossing her eyes also. Allura's eyes faced to the ground, Coran's gazing at the broken boy in front of him. 

Keith's eyes burned through Lance's mind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry   
> :-(   
> I might post another chapter if I can finish it in time, if not then i'll post another in the early morning.


	6. Falling Around You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _**And you walk** _   
> _**Under the streetlights** _  
> _**And you're too drunk to notice** _  
> _**That everyone is staring at you** _  
> _**And you don't care what you look like** _  
> _**The world is falling** _  
> _**Around you** _

Lance wasn't sure how long he spent, kneeling helplessly on the floor next to Hunk. He couldn't seem to keep up with the aching dizziness circling round and round his head. Hunk tried to stable him as his body convulsed, he felt another panic attack coming on. 

Pidge took hold of his good hand and gave it a tight squeeze, he appreciated the gesture even though he couldn't seem to stop the sobs from escaping. 

"What happened, buddy?" Hunk asked, tenderly. Lance could barely meet his eyes, his own ones glazed over. Instead he shook his head and looked back down to the hand Pidge tightly gripped. 

"We're going back to the ship." Allura stated, Hunk, Pidge and Coran looked up at the princess, silently agreeing. Lance didn't tear his eyes away from his hand. "Where's Keith? We're leaving." Allura finished, Hunk's eyes shot back to Lance, he was wide eyed and wary at the mention of the red paladins name. 

Lance stood up at that, his legs shaking slightly as they felt too numb, too foreign on his body. He let go of Pidge and Hunk and straightened up, turning his attention fully to Allura. Everyone watched with bated breath. 

"He's with his new boyfriend" Lance hissed bitterly.   
  
With that remark he turned around, the world span in circles in front of his eyes, he could barely focus on a single thing. He stumbled away from the group, not wanting to cause a burden on them anymore. He stumbled towards the ship, or where he thought the ship was. There was nothing to grip onto anymore, no Hunk, no Pidge, no _Keith_  . He was a little lost, and upset, and drunk out of his fucking mind. He could tell some of the groups of aliens around him were staring, he probably looked a mess, bizarre. His feet twisted round each other as his concentration left him and his arms were soon flailing to the sides of him, trying to grasp anything nearby to stable him. He plummeted to the ground and felt the side of his face smash into the floor. The pain ran down his cheek and let out a painful hiss at the impact. 

"Lance?" 

That voice. _That voice._ Lance bit his lip to suppress a sob, his eyes focused on the ground, his hands laid flat against the dirt. He knew that voice, he couldn't look up to face him. He felt his heart hammering in his chest. _Why_ did he have such a big impact on his emotions. Why could Lance not move on. 

_Lance landed his Lion expertly in the castle, everyone was okay. Zarkon seemingly dealt with, they were happy. He wanted to see Keith, he wanted to plant the biggest kiss on his boyfriend's lips._

_He met with Pidge and Hunk and they were as ecstatic as he was, high fives and hugs a'plenty. Hunk wrapped them both in his arms and span them around._

_"We did it, we did it!" He chanted over and over, Lance couldn't help the grin that covered his face. The grin grew all the more as his eyes laid themselves on a very familiar sight._

_"Keith!" Lance exclaimed, the red paladin had emerged from his lion, his violet eyes landed directly on Lance's blue. Keith's face broke out into a wide smile, his eyes softening. Lance's heart  throbbed in his chest, he really loved that smile._

_Lance wiggled out of Hunk's grasp and ran towards Keith, his eyes sparkling and his heart in his mouth. Keith stood still and smiled softly, his arms opening wide for Lance to charge into. Lance felt Keith's arms envelope him tightly, his whole body felt warm._

_"We did it" Lance stated, his eyes met Keith's again and Keith smirked._

_"Yeah we did" Keith responded sweetly, Lance lowered his head and met Keith's lips halfway, it was a quick, tender kiss. Their closed mouths moving graciously together, the kiss barely lasted a few seconds however both were bright red as they pulled away._

_"L-lets go drag Shiro out" Keith mumbled shyly, his face bright red at the contact. Lance had never loved him more._

_However, things went downhill fast._

_Shiro was nowhere to be found in his lion, not even a trace of their leader had been left behind._

_Keith became in charge of the team. Keith hated it._

_Keith had gotten angry, hell-bent on finding Shiro, he had become obsessed. He let his anger burn away his resolve, he barely spoke to the team. He would take his frustrations out on Coran and Allura, he wanted to search the whole galaxy for Shiro._

_Lance couldn't fault him, really. Shiro was the closest thing to family Keith had, and he had disappeared. Lance couldn't imagine how Keith would be feeling. And at the start he tried, he really tried to be there for him. He tried to cuddle him when he was upset, he let Keith take his anger out with spiteful words. They argued more and more, and touched each other less and less. Lance could hardly bear it. They were still together, but Lance wasn't sure this counted as a true relationship, not anymore._

_"Shiro is gone Keith" Lance cried out, they argued again and again, the same thing each time. "He wouldn't want you to be like this, you're not happy anymore" Lance's voice shook, he couldn't help it._

_"He's out there!" Keith exclaimed, he was exhausted. He sat down away from Lance and glared at the floor. "Life without Shiro is meaningless" Keith muttered. Lance kind of lost it at that._

_"Your life is meaningless? What the fuck am I to you? Temporary? What the fuck do you mean life is meaningless" Lance near-on shouted. Keith still glared at the floor, not moving an inch at Lance's raised voice._

_"You don't understand, you have everything, a family, friends. I don't have that anymore." Keith retorted. Lance felt his entire body heat up._

_"You fucking have me Keith, is that not enough!?" Lance hissed, there was a hint of desperation in his voice, however Keith seemed to ignore it._

_"It's my duty to find Shiro and bring him back, I don't have time for this Lance!" Keith raised his voice, Lance was fuming._

_"Then go fucking find him. Just go. Don't let me and my feelings hold you back." Lance laughed bitterly. He couldn't meet Keith's eyes. "Let me know if you find him, you're so close to finding him anyway." Keith soon picked up the sarcasm in his voice._

_"I'm tired of these remarks Lance! I'm so fucking tired. I'm done, I can't do this every night." Keith snarled._

_Lance still couldn't look at him._

_"Just go" He whispered._

_There was silence for a little while, Lance still didn't want to look up. It was easier this way._

_A slam of the door and Keith was gone._

_Just like that._

_He never came back._

"Lance can you hear me?" Keith's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. He looked up brokenly at the other boy. His heart broke into two under Keith's gaze.

_You just have to see him  
You just have to see him_

Worry was etched on Keith's face, it burned his eyes. 

"Lance we need to go back to the ship" Keith told him, he held out a hand for Lance to take. Lance stared at it in disbelief, his eyes found their way back to Keith's violet ones. 

_You just have to see him  
You just have to see him_

"Take my hand, i'll help you up" Kindness covered every inch on Keith's voice and it left a bitter taste in Lance's mouth. 

He hesitated before gripping Keith's hand, his stomach fluttered and he suddenly felt very, very nauseous. Keith pulled him to his feet, he couldn't stop staring at Keith. His eyes trailed every part of his face and has he always looked that tired? The circles under his eyes were dark and Lance couldn't remember seeing him look so run down before. 

"Can you stand?" Keith asked, Lance wishes he didn't have such a caring tone of voice. It didn't help. 

"Yes" Lance whispered, his tongue felt numb in his mouth, the sound of his croaky voice surprising him. Keith's eyes relaxed and he nodded. 

_You just have to see him_

Keith's arm wrapped around Lance's waist and he eyed the make-do bandage around Lance's hand, it had dried patches of blood all over it. Lance couldn't take his eyes from Keith's face, he was drawn to it, completely and utterly obsessed.  He hadn't seen this face so close in _so_ long. 

They soon closed in on the ship, Keith's grip on Lance relaxed, Lance could smell his cologne, he could see the deep furrow in his brows, the dull sparkle in his eyes. Lance missed Keith's touch straight away. 

Keith opened the hatchway to the ship, the platform came down for them to step onto. He turned to Lance and his eyes flitted over his features for a split second before returning to land directly on his eyes. 

"Can we talk?" Keith asked, he held Lance's gaze and scratched the back of his neck. "When we get back on the ship that is...I feel like we need to talk." Keith finished. 

Lance couldn't even respond. His eyes watered and he bit his lip. They stood in silence as they were raised into the castle. The wind picked up the higher they were in the air, Keith never took his arm away from the small of Lance's back.

_You just have to see him_

_And you know that he'll break you in two_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took too long to post 3 I've had a lot of doubts about my writing and this story so far and got myself into a little rut.   
> I'm sorry guys <3 <3 hope you enjoy this chapter I tried to get it out asap to apologise! 
> 
> I have a tumblr as well! http://www.tajiyama.tumblr.com


	7. You Just Have To See Him

Sitting in his room, on the same bed as Keith was not something that Lance had thought would have happened. He couldn't bear Keith's gaze on his face, either.

  
The silence was unbearable yet it gave Lance comfort that Keith wouldn't bring anything up. He couldn't talk about things, he had so many questions yet he found it too painful to retrieve the answers for.

  
Keith opened his mouth and quickly shut it, his eyes trailed over Lance, studying him. Lance guessed he was trying to think of the right words to say.

In Lance's eyes there was nothing more to say. It was obvious to him that Keith wanted nothing more to do with him, he didn't want him anymore. That was a fact Lance had quickly come to terms with.   
Lance heard Keith shuffle slightly, he raised his attention to the boy next to him, his eyes darting to Keith's.

Lance didn't know whether it was the look of anguish on his features, the drunkenness of both the boys or the look of pity in Keith's eyes but something snapped within the black haired boy. Lance let out a fleeting cry as Keith pressed his lips harshly on Lance's. the Cuban boy had no time to react, Keith moved his lips enthusiastically, emotion pouring through his veins as he pushed harder on Lance's. Keith's hands were entwined in the soft brown locks of the blue paladin and Lance couldn't stop his hands from gripping Keith's waist.

  
He desperately kissed back, his lips moving fervently, he could feel the hot blood running through his body the deeper they made the kiss. Lance could taste the alcohol on Keith's tongue as it delved in his parted mouth, he let it roll under his.

Lance pulled away from Keith, his cheeks flushed, however Keith didn't let him rest for long. Keith's lips were attached to his once more in pure need. Keith's hands trailed circles along Lance's rib cage, the heat between the two boys grew the closer their bodies entwined. They were pressed flush against each other, Lance moved his lips hard against Keith's, their tongues rolling together as if it were the only thing they knew how to do. 

It felt like an eternity when they finally pulled away, a blush blossoming on Keith's cheeks. Lance felt dizzy. He gained some common sense once Keith's touches had seemingly stopped. 

Lance pushed Keith away harshly with the palms of his hands, he shot up and stared at Keith, confused. Keith backed away and looked back at Lance, his breathing erratic and appearance disheveled. 

"W-what the fuck" Lance cried out, he wiped his lips with the back of his sleeve as he stared in disbelief and disgust at the other boy. "Why the fuck" Lance urged, he felt tears run down his cheeks.  
Keith blushed harder, his gaze fell to the floor.

"What the fuck was that about" Lance carried on. He grew all the more annoyed when Keith wouldn't raise his head to look at him. "You ignore me for weeks, you didn't give a shit! I was torn apart, Keith. You fucked me up so bad" Lance cried out, his chest felt on fire. "You left with another person at the party, you didn't care, Keith why!" He finished, tears streaming he kept shaking his head. What was Keith playing at. He didn't even want to know anymore, he just wanted Keith gone. 

"Lance I--" Keith started. He bit his lip to suppress a sob.

"I don't want to hear it. Get out." Lance retorted, he could barely see out of his tear-filled eyes. Keith simply stared at him, hurt evident in his eyes. He laid his hand on Lance's arm.

"Lance please." Keith begged. "I need to talk to you"

"Get out." Lance repeated bitterly. He shook his shoulders to force Keith's hand off. It left a burning sensation.

Keith darted on Lance once more, his lips moving desperately on Lance's unmoving ones. He overstepped his place. In a swift second Keith had been pushed harshly away and Lance had stood up.

"Get the fuck out, Keith" Lance near on shouted. He was shaking with anger, his chest heaving and tears still falling fast. Keith blinked once and looked at the floor once more.

"M'sorry" he mumbled, more to the floor than to Lance. He stood up and made his way to the door, he walked past Lance who still stared furiously at the wall.  
The door clicked as it shut and Lance fell to his knees, his arms wrapped around his body as his back curved. He sobbed loudly into his arms, his heart racing and breaking all over again.

Lance wasn't entirely sure when he climbed onto his bed and when he fell asleep however he woke up late the next day, his head pounded with a residing hangover and his body ached, he felt like crap. Memories of last night with Keith flooded him and he suddenly felt a lot sicker than he did. 

Keith kissed him, he felt Keith's lips on his again, deep down he felt a rush of happiness. This meant that Keith wanted to kiss him, Keith touched him, he might even still love him. But if he loved him, why did he put Lance through so much hurt. Was Keith hurting too? 

Lance skipped breakfast again, it seemed like he was falling back into the same pattern as before the party. He didn't feel any better, he hadn't felt any closure on the Keith subject and he knew sooner or later he would have to talk to him again, he knew that. The only way he could get over what has happened was to hear Keith's side of it. He needed to know why Keith didn't care, why they split up and more importantly if Keith still felt anything for him. 

He pulled his regular blue and white shirt on over his head, brushed his hair and teeth and looked himself once over in the mirror. He seemed to look normal, sans the bags under his eyes and the frown currently on his lips. He looked so much sadder, unhappy. Had he really looked like this for weeks? Had he smiled once since they ended it? Lance couldn't even remember. 

He sighed and left his room swiftly, no time for backing out now. 

His nerves hit him as he stood outside Keith's door. He lifted his hand and clenched it into a fist as he knocked slowly on the door. His heart beat hard in his chest as the door slowly opened. 

And there Keith stood, looking like a dream. Lance caught his breath in his throat. Keith's eyes widened as he looked at the paladin in front of him. 

"l-Lance what are you doing here?" He asked, his eyes still wide. 

Lance bit his lip and held Keith'a gaze. 

"I want to talk" Lance stated his voice unwavering, Keith nodded in response. 

"y-yeah of course, yes" he replied, he stepped out of the way of the door and Lance went through. 

No going back now. 

Everything will be out in the open. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooorrryyyyyy ❤️❤️  
> Enjoy!


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